Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
