So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
