Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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