Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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