I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
