Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
