This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
