you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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