If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
