Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
