How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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