Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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