when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
