cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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