Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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