the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
