just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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