stop calling my apartment porn island.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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