But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
