do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
