watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
