Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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