I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
