Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
