I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
