drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
