Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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