youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize
