dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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