and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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