Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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