It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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