alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
