Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
