Who wears a wallet chain?!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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