maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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