and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize