There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
