he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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