you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
why does every cop we meet know your name?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
