The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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