If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
