Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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