Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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