Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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