Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Don't make out with my wife yet
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
