So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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