I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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