How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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