this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
