just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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