his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
