Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
