oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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