it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize