I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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