I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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