no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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