bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
